“I don’t give a damn what someone else has. But other people are driven crazy by it.”
–Charlie Munger
A recent article about Finland claims it is the happiest country on earth. Written by a noted authority, she described some of the pillars of Finnish society and philosophy that helped shape and reinforce good mental health in that country. For instance, people from Finland value nature and trust/honesty in their community. One of her main points for good mental health was: Finns don’t compare themselves to others.
COMPARISON TO THE US
Our country is different. We compare everything.
We compare personal appearance. We carefully notice and mentally compare our peers’ heights, weight, fitness, and style choices. We constantly compete to see who is the smartest, richest, best looking, and generally best at everything. To make that judgment, we are constantly comparing. Competition and comparison go together.
The comparison issue is so serious that we strongly disagree on whether seven-year-olds should get sports participation awards. We care so deeply about who is number one, number two, and so on that the idea that ALL young kids get rewarded for playing sports turns some parents into passionate, irrational advocates.
If you can’t say that little Johnny’s team is number one, then why play, or so the logic goes. It concerns the bragging rights parents get when kids are compared to each other.
Comparison is a way of measuring competition and success.
MONEY COMPARISONS
Money is the most critical comparison yardstick of all. It is a common denominator by which we can all measure each other, and the result is a nice concise numerical amount.
Is one of my friends richer than I am? Do they drive a better car than I do? Do they make more money? We compare to find out.
After all, more money means more comfort, luxury, and status. And best of all, for some people, if you are number one, it means others envy you.
In case you are wondering, there is a website that notes when there is a change in the financial pecking order and calculates the net worth of mega-wealthy people in real-time. So, you can find out: Is Musk on top or not? Is Bezos the richest in the world, or has someone from the continent wrested the crown by selling luxury goods?
Money competition and bragging rights are available in real-time.
WHEN DO COMPARISONS BECOME LESS IMPORTANT?
I started to think about this the other day when I made my last college tuition payment for my kids. That payment reminds me that I am slightly less relevant now to my kids and that time is moving on.
I am reaching the point where direct comparisons don’t matter much anymore. Instead, the non-comparison goals and other quantitative measures are more important.
We don’t pay as much attention to those, but they are as critical as competition and comparison.
What follows is a brief description of what those goals are, why they are essential, and how they impact your mental health and well-being.
MEASURE, DON’T COMPARE
It is essential to know what your resources are, monetary or otherwise. For instance, the question of outliving my money comes to the fore. But, of course, that is a non-competitive analysis.
THE NEED TO USE DIFFERENT YARDSTICKS TO MEASURE SUCCESS, NOT JUST COMPARISON
I don’t think of billionaires with flocks of spoiled kids, screwed-up relationships, and disastrous mental health as being successful even if they land on the Forbes 400.
I know, that sounds trite. And it sounds like an excuse for not being at the top of the financial heap. However, I have noticed that more than a few people spend excessive time on the job because they cannot master other parts of their life. That is not good.
Ironically, one of the richest, Warren Buffett, agrees with that. He feels that your life is a disaster if you end your life and the people you want to love you don’t.
COMPARISON, INDEPENDENCE, AND COMPETING AGAINST YOURSELF
Other non-competitive metrics are important too:
- Achieving independence—it is wonderful to make decisions and control your own life. For instance, you don’t have to decide between making money and doing the right thing. Nor are you forced to interact with people you don’t like strictly because of money. Charlie Munger, among others, has described independence as a goal that drove him toward amassing great wealth.
- Defining your success/following your inner scorecard—with enough independence, you do not have to let others define your goals or compromise your standards. Warren Buffett discusses that concept too. It is a matter of checking goals off your checklist without compromising your moral standards.
- Competing against yourself—have you achieved your goals? Are your goals aligned with what makes you happy, or are you following someone else’s script? Again, success is following your script, not someone else’s.
And one of the things that matter most is to achieve those goals and improve yourself in the process.
- Doing for others—it turns out that one of the things that benefit you most is to give to others. Of course, people who are generous to others don’t do that for themselves, but ironically, they are one of the biggest beneficiaries.
FINLAND AND THE US
So, maybe the Finns are on to something. Not all comparison exercises are advantageous or appropriate.
In review, non-competitive goals should include independence, morality, self-improvement, and generosity. None of those things can be represented as simply as net worth. These measures and goals are more complicated and harder to measure. Arguably, they are also more important.
Disclaimer: consult with a financial fiduciary before taking any steps outlined here. Not all advice may be suitable for your circumstances or investment style.
Photo Credit: Mathieu Stern
License: Unsplash