“Happiness is pretty simple: someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to.”
–Rita Mae Brown
“If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.”
–Yogi Berra
As part of a community that reads a personal finance blog, you’re familiar with the standard concepts for achieving financial security. These include tracking net worth, employing worst-case thinking, considering opportunity costs, and encouraging compounding.
However, we do not discuss the purpose of financial analysis enough. You see, the logic is that by planning and managing your finances effectively, you have a better chance of achieving happiness.
But many people don’t think about what makes them happy in the first place. And if you never think about your own happiness, achieving your financial goals will seem hollow once you get there.
CAUSES OF HAPPINESS AND UNHAPPINESS
Lasting personal relationships are among the most significant contributors to happiness and longevity. So friends and loved ones are what bring the most happiness.
However, financial stress and insecurity are significant contributors to unhappiness. So, regardless of your financial situation, it is essential to understand and manage your finances effectively, even if you are of modest means. Much of your happiness depends on it.
The ironic part is that people who are overly focused on wealth to the exclusion of everything else also risk significant unhappiness. So balance is important.
Other sources note that poor relationships and loneliness, poor health, and lack of purpose and fulfillment also contribute to unhappiness.
While I agree, I would argue that what underlies much of this is a lack of control and the fear that causes. For instance, if you are lonely, it is the fear that you cannot maintain enough control over consistent relationships that is corrosive, not just loneliness itself.
Comparisons and unrealistic expectations are also significant factors contributing to unhappiness. A major source of unhappiness is social media, where an unrealistic view of life is often part of some influencers’ personas.
HAPPINESS COMPONENTS: CONTROL, AND REALISM; THE PROCESS
One way to view changes in your life and finances is to distinguish between those factors and situations you can’t control and those you can.
The next step is to evaluate how you react to what you cannot control and whether your response is appropriate.
Next, review your goals. Which ones are related to your happiness?
Finally, consider the time aspects of your decisions, and then finally indulge in some crazy dreaming about what you would like to do if you had unlimited resources and opportunities. That part of the exercise helps free you from self-imposed restrictions.
This entire exercise is designed to help you reflect on your own attitudes and desires. The point is to align your financial plans and goals with your pursuit of happiness. But first, here are some of the questions you should try to answer:
- Do you accept things you cannot change?
- Do you adapt to things you cannot change? Are they positive actions to compensate for loss–or to make you happy in other ways?
- Are time considerations part of your plan? (For example, have you waited five years before retirement to put money away?)
- Do your friends and family play a role in your plans? What are their ages, and how might that affect you and any plans you make?
- Do you have only achievable dreams, or are you completely hemmed in by self-imposed constraints? And if you had all of the resources in the world, what would you do instead?
MY STEP 1—WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME (SO FAR) IN 2025 THAT I DO NOT CONTROL
Here is an example of how the five-step process applies to me. This has been a year of loss and change, so I’ve decided to take the time to reflect on what brings me happiness as I move forward.
Obviously, your list will be different. I use this as an example so that you can see how the process works.
Here is what happened to me in 2025:
1. Lost a Parent
2. Lost a beloved pet.
3. Was forced to deal with an ugly adversarial situation.
4. Had my spouse undergo major surgery (at present writing).
5. I am awaiting the arrival of a new grandchild.
6. Lost a good friend from my long-ago work life.
7. Experienced unprecedented social change (general observation—just turn on the news and you will note unprecedented change and the pace of change in most aspects of everyday life).
Now notice that only items 1, 3, and 5 (if I fund a 529 plan) affect finances. Most items on this list do not.
MY STEP 2: AN EXAMPLE—WHAT CHANGES I INSTITUTED TO DEAL WITH ADVERSITY AND CHANGE
The point is that you do not have to be passive, even after irrevocable loss. Adaptation and acceptance of change are key, as are friends who help you get through the tough times.
Moreover, I hope readers will again notice that most of these issues are not financial at all. They have more to do with relationships than money. Here is how I reacted to the losses and changes in 2025:
1. Rediscovered relationships with family members and reestablished relationships with friends after losing a parent.
2. Went traveling on a once-in-a-lifetime trip (with another planned at the end of the year)
3. Changed some investments to align with my happiness goals and changes in my own life.
4. Continued to work on, lead, and build a non-profit I am associated with, with an eye toward developing others to assume more leadership roles.
5. Helped several immediate and extended family members with significant financial decisions and investments (see here for one).
6. Helped a child of mine move and re-rent the place they are currently vacating due to changed circumstances.
7. Kept writing posts—but less frequently due to time constraints. The next step is to reinstitute a consistent writing schedule as time permits.
8. Settled a probable pending lawsuit.
9. Took all actions necessary to help my spouse recover. The first step alone takes about 3 months.
10. Made some significant changes to my house to improve and beautify it.
11. Honored my parents’ memory.
I wish I could tell you that items 4 and 7 were not impacted by some of the factors I do not control. Hopefully, those situations will resolve themselves and improve as time passes, and as I have more time to deal with them.
The moral is: You do not have to be passive even after a loss or in the face of major life changes. However, accepting reality, even if it is hard, is a key to moving on and achieving happiness.
MY STEP 3: CURRENT GOALS AND HAPPINESS
1. Finish estate duties. Invest accordingly.
2. See friends more often
3. Help everyone in the household get healthy
4. Travel—complete two upcoming trips.
5. Exercise consistently.
Obviously, there are other goals, but the point is to examine your short-term objectives. If only a few of them bring you happiness, it may be time to reevaluate them and consider making changes.
MY STEP 4:—FUTURE GOALS
Here are some of the things I look forward to in 2026 and beyond:
1. Exploring living overseas for an extended period (health permitting).
2. Expanding the nonprofit I work with, and doing more good.
3. Expanding this Blog and writing on a more consistent basis, using AI to become more efficient.
4. Travel—filling out the bucket list—maybe even go to Antarctica, but certainly see more of the historic US southern and eastern cities.
5. Try skydiving (my spouse loves that one).
6. Writing a book (I have an unpublished one, but that does not count).
7. Learning another language
8. Seeing the Pyramids
9. Creating art again with friends
Needless to say, this is not a consistent list. If I choose some things, I cannot do others, so I have to sort priorities.
MY STEP 5: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THERE WERE NO CONSTRAINTS AT ALL?
A significant portion of personal decision-making involves reacting to external constraints. But what if there were none? If you could do anything you want, what would that be?
The point is to dream a bit. Sometimes, it turns out that we constrain ourselves more than circumstances dictate.
Here are a few of my crazy dreams:
1. Maybe dunk a basketball on a full-size hoop? (Hey, I am old and can’t jump, so this is a huge reach.)
2. Become a billionaire.
3. Cure cancer and homelessness.
4. Give away my money (after my kids are taken care of) and make the world a better place.
5. Own a professional sports team.
As I mentioned, you write this section without much consideration for reality and constraints.
The primary concern is whether your own thoughts and preconceptions are holding you back.
ABOUT YOU—HOW DO YOU USE THIS PROCESS?
Your situation is different. I have shared my plans with you because I hope that by providing a real-life example, the process can also benefit you.
But having the courage to try the process is the key. Just follow each step and see if it broadens your perspective.
Readers, let me know how the process can be improved, or how it works for you.
DREAMING VS. IMPLEMENTATION
To actually take financial steps to implement your happiness initiatives, you need a plan and to set some priorities. That is where having a financial fiduciary can help if you lack the ability to set out a financial plan yourself.
But, get started! You never know what may be possible.
Disclaimer: Consult with a financial fiduciary before taking any steps outlined here. Not all advice may be suitable for your circumstances or investment style.
Image: Sitraka
License: Unsplash