APRIL FOOL’S DAY MONEY EXCUSES

“The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.”

— Winston Churchill

Now and then, I need a good excuse. That way I can claim my foolish financial moves have nothing to do with my judgment.   

So, in the spirit of April fool’s silliness, I will discuss three money excuses that many in the general public have embraced. Now, as silly as much of this thinking is, it is not an April Fool’s day joke. The research and actions are real.

EXCUSE NO 1: I ONLY TRUST PEOPLE WITH BEARDS

About half of America trusts financial advice from men with beards the most. According to Lending Tree, many Americans feel bearded people are better able to handle money than their clean-shaven counterparts.

The study also shows that even most clean-shaven think this way. So, I guess some clean-shaven people have issues with self-trust.

However, there is some weak logic there. I mean, you would have trusted Abe Lincoln to manage your money, right? If not Abe, how about Jack Dorsey?

But I still find this all a little strange since it misses the broader point: most women do not have beards (even if they wanted one). And according to one source, women are generally better investors than men.

So, the clear answer to this problem is to see if you can get financial advice from a bearded woman. If you can’t, you have a ready-made excuse for failure.

EXCUSE NO. 2: MY PLANETS DID NOT ALIGN

Sometimes the fault is in the stars.

It turns out that about twenty percent of people make financial decisions based on astrology. So, if your astrologer has an off day, your financial choices won’t work out either.

I don’t hire astrologers, but if I did, I would want one with good references and a solid market track record. And maybe it would be a good idea if they had a beard as insurance.

Hiring an astrologer has certain advantages over random chance. If your decisions don’t work out, you can blame it all on shoddy advice and the misinterpretation of celestial events.

EXCUSE NO. 3: MY HORMONES MADE ME BUY IT

According to a University of Pennsylvania study, higher levels of testosterone shift spending patterns among males–and not for the better. The higher the testosterone level, the more likely men will buy expensive and flashy items, which are also less practical and durable.

So when we males decide to buy a flashy unreliable, impractical red sports car, it is hormonal. We can’t help it.

Not that the excuse ever worked with my wife.

There seem to be two reasons why we males try to become more flashy with higher levels of testosterone:

• Procreation—being flashy lets potential partners know you are available. Think of it as an advertisement. Bright oversized peacock feathers are not practical for that bird either, but they get a lot of attention from female peacocks.
• Dominance–flashy spending is a kind of public warning to other males. The message is: don’t get in my way. Take me on, and I will kick sand in your face.

And the latter action reinforces social status too. Dominant males are saying to their poorer male competitors: look at me, I am so powerful and wealthy I can be deliberately wasteful, and you can’t do the same.

I have never thought of waste as a form of dominance, but what do I know?

YES—BUT WHAT APPROACH SHOULD YOU TAKE IN A CONFUSING WORLD?

As much as possible, try to be rational in your financial choices. Many people want to bring order and discipline into their lives. But as we have seen, the way they do that does not always make sense.

So, try to avoid being swayed by hormones, hairy people, celestial events, or other distracting things. Instead, use common sense and talk to people you trust, like your fiduciary.

It does not matter whether your fiduciary has a beard or not.

And remember, staying rational is harder than it sounds. After all, this is a world where the most sophisticated analysts and decision-makers track underwear sales to forecast the future of the economy. (No, I am not making that up either).

And so, it is easy to think there is no point in taking an intelligent and measured approach at all. Still, staying rational is far better than the alternative.

And, be sure to have a laugh about what you see now and then. It will help you keep perspective. That is what April Fool’s Day is all about.

Disclaimer: consult with a financial fiduciary before taking any steps outlined here. Not all advice may be suitable for your circumstances or investment style.

Photo credit: Diane Alkier

License: Unsplash