“Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.”
–Harry Emerson Fosdick
One reader asked me to describe what retirement is like and to write about it. So, I decided to tell readers about my experience, but, more importantly, to discuss what I wish I had known upfront.
And I discovered something surprising along the way: you may stop working at a job, but you still have to work very hard on other aspects of your life in retirement.
THE FIRST SIX MONTHS—RETIREMENT TRANSITION
After retirement, I realized a few things about myself and other people who retire early. First, just because I was no longer going to a job did not mean my personality had changed. To retire early requires planning, drive, organization, a competitive spirit. You must concentrate on your work most of your life–often to the exclusion of other social activities. And then, strangely, after you have achieved your retirement, your driven self has little to do.
Many people confront that issue, whether they retire early or not.
It took me a while to recognize what had happened. First, I used the idle time to clean out the garage, complete projects around the house, tie up loose ends, and clear out my to-do list. I had expected that process to take years, but it took only a few months.
At that point, I had no choice but to confront my pre-retirement mistakes. I was a creature of work, and most of my social contacts were through work—but the people I interacted with were still working and unavailable most of the day. So, they were not around for social interaction at the same time I was.
At times I was lonely and bored.
Moreover, my interests were changing. I was a lot less interested in work war stories and discussing them over lunch. Bottom line: I realized I had not prepared adequately for my transition to retired social life.
Chris Mamula has written convincingly about this phenomenon and argues that what you did (or did not do) during your work life is how you will continue to conduct your life—retired or not. So, if you are interested in exercise, volunteering, or other activities, you should start them now. Don’t wait to retire to start. Use the link to see his excellent advice.
Mea culpa. In my case, I finally changed my habits—and it took a lot of work and determination. So, maybe I am the exception.
I decided to take a two-pronged approach to transition after my initial failure. First, I took on a few consulting jobs—maybe ten hours per month to keep my hand in on the work side—but as much for the social contacts as anything else. But second, I also became more involved in my community (finally).
And I began to reengage in some of the things I had always been interested in: writing, volunteering, and artwork. But since I had not entirely laid the groundwork, there was a lot of flailing around and starting from scratch to get started on those endeavors; eventually, I got it to work.
I also expanded my existing activity in faith and volunteer organizations. And I began to get back into shape (also a latecomer there).
Still, much of the day was open even after making those changes. And many of the meetings, get-togethers, classes, etc., were at night. So, my schedule still felt a little off and constrained by what ordinary working people did.
However, as time moved on, it turned out that was the least of my challenges.
FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES AND FISCAL IMPACTS
I have written how people need to know that the median retirement age is 62—not 65 or 70. The majority, 64% of workers, leave the workplace between 55 and 62. And many times, people have part-time jobs or jobs without benefits after the age of 50.
The reason for that often has to do with the responsibility to care for both parents and other family members.
For instance, within a year of my retirement, we needed to devote a lot of time to my parents. We lost my dad about a year after my retirement and both in-laws within the next nine years.
As they got older, they began to need our help more and more. So those empty days on the calendar started to fill up as our responsibilities rose, and we worked to help them.
Our situation was not uncommon.
So, I have advocated that you strengthen your finances so that you can retire at 50 (even if you don’t) and then transition to part-time work about that time if you must. Sometimes family responsibilities or your own health issues require it.
RETIREMENT FINANCES
You don’t stop planning and striving for goals at retirement. We came into retirement having pared down our debt. That process continued for a few years. A key piece of advice: pay off your debts before retiring—especially your home mortgage. If that is not possible, do what we did and complete the process as soon as you can.
To help accomplish that, my spouse hoped to return to full-time work.
But the saying is, “Man plans, and God laughs.”
CHALLENGES AND OPPORTUNITIES IN THE GREAT RECESSION—THE NEED TO STAY FLEXIBLE
Again, Mamula was prescient in our case. He argues that you can never entirely be sure you have prepared financially for retirement–no matter what.
We are living proof of that. And at one point, I did wonder whether all my careful retirement plans would go down the drain. You see, the great recession hit, and it hit hard. It caused us one hardship after another.
First, my spouse lost her part-time job. As the recession deepened her dream of going back to work full time went up in smoke. And after a year of unemployment and searching, she retired.
In the meantime, the stock market crashed, leaving some of my investments in tatters.
My rentals struggled as well. And while rates were down, it was challenging to take advantage of them and refinance the rentals at a lower rate. In the mind of lenders, I was not working and could not backfill any rental shortfalls despite my savings. That meant they would not lend to me without job income. Put another way, they went through a period where they wanted to foreclose rather than refinance at lower rates.
However, in the middle of these setbacks, it was also clear that there was also a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Suddenly condos and houses were cheap, and many were being foreclosed. The prices had crashed. We desperately needed a condo for one family member, and amid the financial carnage, that suddenly became feasible.
So, I took a low-paying part-time job for about a year so that the banks would lend to me based on that salary. That was not in my master retirement plan, and often I was not fond of the work. However, the income eventually allowed me to refinance my rentals at lower rates and take some equity from our rental properties. In turn, that meant we could buy a small condo outright–which we did.
As a bonus, I was also able to set aside a little money for college tuition from refinancing proceeds.
I quit shortly after the escrow closed.
So the lesson is, the “date” of retirement is often an illusion. No hard and fast rules apply once retired. And adjusting your plan is not all bad.
THE STRESSES OF RETIREMENT ON YOUR MARRIAGE
We talk to each other. Communication is key.
So after a period of trial and error and experimentation, we eventually agreed on how to spend retirement time. We discussed how much to spend together, and how much we would pursue our hobbies and other outside activities. As a result, we had very few problems with the transition.
Part of the motivation for getting it right was our reaction when we watched other couples struggle.
You DO hear of retired couples who drive each other crazy in retirement. I know a few who have far too much togetherness. Some even get divorced.
Even worse is when people retire and immediately cut community ties and move. That is often a recipe for disaster.
To avoid common mistakes, see here. And communicate to your spouse about the issue.
CONCLUSION
My retirement is a happy one. So, please don’t take these cautionary tales as a negative. They are not. They are just issues to be aware of.
I guess that if there was one moral it would be this: you don’t stop working just because you quit your job. You have to work on the family, relationships, finances, and giving back.
One of the wonderful things about retirement is that you get to circle back and explore professions and interests that you had to shelve before. I now:
- Help manage a small nonprofit
- Travel overseas twice a year (pandemics permitting)
- Write a bi-weekly blog (and have written a book)
- Engage in artistic activities, and paint when I want to
- See friends often
Life has never been better.
SUMMARY
- Prepare for retirement by being involved and having social connections outside of work long before retiring. A transition plan involving a part-time job makes sense for many people.
- Make a financial plan to retire at 50, even if you don’t intend to do so. Family and other issues may intervene, and many people need to drop down to part-time work around age 50.
- Do your best to limit debt as much as possible before retirement—especially on your house.
- Remain flexible—sometimes opportunities present themselves during retirement. You may need to go back to work briefly to take advantage of them. Be flexible.
- Retirement can be an excellent time for your marriage relationship—but beware. Too much togetherness can clobber marriages too. Talk to your spouse/partner to agree on how you will spend your time together and apart.
- Retirement can be a time to pursue passions you could never pursue during your work life—travel, hobbies, sports, etc.
Disclaimer: consult with a financial fiduciary before taking any steps outlined here. Not all advice is suitable for your circumstances or investment style.
Photo Credit: Sagar Patel License: Unsplash